The answer

He said no. not now. I may not be on for a while, please don't hold it against me. I'll try to have updates posted by family members, since I'm a tad too upset to use the computer

On a lighter note

I'm spinning and crocheting a storm up right now, trying to get all my yarns labeled and make washcloths up for a garage sale the mum is having. Might as well try and get some money for myself out of it. Or so I think. Hopefully I'll be using it for a bus ticket back to MN and Scott.

Waiting with baited breath

I've been waiting all weekend for tomorrow, when the soon to be ex will let me know if I can come back and stay in the spare room, so i can be with the wee one. I don't want to be here in MI, I didn't ask to be here (which the step-dick seems to think), and I didn't want this to happen. I've been trusting J to make decisions for me on major things, since I know crap about our life together. He's decided it's not worth trying, and that it's better to just end it. I just have all these questions going through my head, does he just want rid of me? Was it so bad before that now he'll just use the concussion and memory loss against me? He's holding the past against me, while saying he wants to start fresh. How is that fair, or even right? You can't hold the past against someone who doesn't remember it, it's like holding a past relationship against your new partner. I dunno know what's gonna happen, I just want it all over, so I can see Scott. Please dear gods, let me see him more than every few months. I don't think I could bear it otherwise. I miss him so much already, and it's only been 6 days. I found his little toy sheep last night, tucked in a bag of yarn I'd brought with me, and I started crying. All that's going through my head is it's the 2nd time in 6 months that someone's decided it was best to leave me, or so it seems. Yes, K was over years ago, but it seems so recent to me. All that pain is brought up all over again, someone I loved leaving me behind because they were bored with me, they were done, and they didn't want to try anymore. I'm starting to think my sister was right, relationships suck and aren't worth the effort or the heart ache caused by a loss. I'd rather be alone than have this feeling again. Hopefully someone will read this and try to prove to me that there's hope in loving someone, and trusting someone not to hurt you, because otherwise I don't think I'll have hope again.

What hurts the most is I trusted J to make the right decisions from the time I woke up in the hallway in the apartment and over the last month it's just caused me so much pain. But I trusted him because he said he was my husband and it would be all right, everything would be ok. What a crock that turned out to be.

Questions of the week

Ok, I forgot about the questions, but with the stuff in my life hopefully I'll be forgiven.



As a kid, what did you look forward to most about summer vacation/break/holiday?



What is your favorite summertime drink??

Iced tea and slurpies. There's a 7-11 in town here, I have to go and get one. Or just nice cool water, not really cold. Lemonade is a good one too

I'm here

Got into MI today, after a Loooonnnnggggggg trip by bus with me mum and niece. We're all uber tired and sore (well, not the kid) from toting 4 suitcases that each weigh 50 pounds. Of course only one was a suitcase, the other 3 were trunks, which means a little tiny handle and no wheels. Major suckage.

Just resting for now, wanting to go take a nap but won't because I'll not sleep well tonight. It's not the first time I've gone 2 days on just a few hours sleep, not even the first time this week. Actually going on 8 hours for the last 3 days.

I did manage to get some knitting done on the bus, and even some spinning. I found my supported spindle about an hour before we left for the bus depot and grabbed that and some cotton to spin. It's fun to use. Most my yarns and fiber collection are in the 2 trunks that are my stuff, and the box my spinning wheel was packed into. I think there's about 2 pounds wool roving in there with the wheel. I'm knitting something for my secret pal partner person, but can't tell y'all what it is.

I wish I was with Scott, though I love my family. To read my more depressing thoughts right now I'm on Live Journal username Vxb222.

Transplantation

Due to relationship issues (mainly not remembering ANY of the relationship!) I am moving to MI to stay at my mom's for now. Sad to say I will be leaving Scott here with J for now, while we hammer out details. I will miss my little man something awful. I hope that he will always know that mommy loves him, and didn't want to leave him behind. Contact info will be the same, and ifin anyone needs my address just leave me a message with an email and I'll send it out.

Wish me luck getting settled in. I'll write soon.

Taking all my yarn with me, and my wheel too.

Bleh

For some unknown reason I'm still awake, and it's almost 3am. I just can't seem to sleep, even with sleeping pills. It sucks but what's a girl to do?

I spun up some bamboo, the first thing I've really SPUN on my wheel since the bump on the noggin. I've plied up some cotton yarn for sale, but that's not the same. I've never used a wheel in my memory, but obviously the muscle memory is there, and it's tucked up into my brain as well. I just sat down one night and started spinning on it, and it worked.

I finished my gran's shawl, and just have to weave in the ends. It took a whole ball of yarn. And I'm not talking about a regular ball, but one of those 1 pound balls o' cotton that you can get at the craft stores. I'll be taking a picture and trying to figure out if I want to dye it in the next few days.

It's been pouring rain today, and so the kids were a little antsy. We took them to the mall so they could play in the play area there. That was a success, and they both crashed once we got home from shopping. Tomorrow will be much the same, with a trip to Jo-ann's for yarn for Mum, Cold Stone for ice cream shakes (they do 1/2 price until 5pm), and the store to get things to make truffles. Those are for some friends of ours who are having a going away party on Saturday. We were told Sunday (with all our other friends) that they are moving to Washington state on the 17th. Short notice, but their roommate is an abusive woman and they need to get themselves and the 7 year old daughter out of the house NOW. I'll miss them dearly but it's what's best for them, and for my friend's health. MN winters don't do very much for those with Fibromyalgia (which she also has).

Gonna try sleeping again. Here's hoping it works.

What did I do?

I think I ate too much is what. Never go to Chipotle if you're not really hungry, cause you can't finish a burrito bowl. So I sit here, typing, and feeling so stuffed one wrong move will make me explode.

On other what was I thinking notes, I had my mom and 5 year old niece come out for a visit. They're driving me up the wall already. But she's cute, and my mom is a big help. I also taught my niece how to use a spindle and a spinning wheel. Yes, that's right, a 5 year old is spinning. Granted, it's not real spinning, but more plying cotton singles together, but it's something.

Scott turns 2 on Monday, and he's so cute. We're going to the zoo with his auntie and some cousins and than having a small party at home. Speaking of parties, i have to make his cake tomorrow, and get a cheesecake made tonight for our usual craft potluck day at friends. Cheesecake and pasta salad are what I'm taking. But I'm not making a heavy mayo salad, more of a light one in Italian dressing. There's a friend there who can't do meat and other protein items due to health problems so the salad is for her, and the cake is also for her if she wants to dare it.

I finished crocheting a shawl for me, and I'm making a cape type thing for my Gamma (great-gran). Both are pineapple patterns, and both are kinda my patterns. I say kinda because they are based on pictures of patterns I've seen, but never actually seen the pattern. I have a knack for getting patterns from crocheted items and even just pictures of them. My high point was taking a cheap plastic tablecloth from the dollar store and sitting there and writing out the pattern for the crocheted item it was pressed from. Took a while, but the folks at the dollar store were amazed when I took the finished item down there to show them.

Off to make cheesecakes. Woohoo!

Secret Pal 12 questions

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
Cotton, rayon and linen are my favorites, as well as silk. I like wools and other critter fibers too. Please no acrylic as I actually have problems with them.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?

Whatever is handy to use, I have a knitting needle case for my interchangeables and a crochet hook case for some of my hooks
3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?

I've been knitting since I was 14, so over 10 years now. I'd consider myself pretty advanced, as I can do just about anything, except knitting socks, I can't stand them.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

Nope, not really

5. What's your favorite scent?

Don't have one really, but clean light scents are the best.

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?

Yes, and chocolate. The darker the better, I personally love a good 75% cocoa bar

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?

I knit, crochet, spin, needle tat, and am learning how to weave. I also do kumi-himo braiding.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

Classic country and rock, but pretty much anything but rap and gospel music

9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?

Blues, greens, and deep reds, I don't really like pinks unless they are a dusky rose

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I have a hubby and a 2 year old, no critters

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?

Yes, Yes, Yes, and sometimes

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?

Lace anything, usually scarves and shawls

13. What are you knitting right now?

Nothing actually, crocheting up a storm though. A pineapple lace cape for my gamma

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?

YES!!!!

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

Circs please, and metal is better for me, they have pointer tips

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?

Nope to both, but only for lack of $ right now

17. How old is your oldest UFO?

Well, she's going on 25 years (hehe, me). I try not to have unfinished projects

18. What is your favorite holiday?

Halloween

19. Is there anything that you collect?

Rubber ducks, pretty patterns, anything Yoda (yes, Star Wars), hummingbirds

20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

I like White Lies Designs patterns, and Fiddlesticks knitting patterns also. No mag subscriptions

21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?

Maybe how to turn a heel on a sock. I've just never tried it before.

22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?

Nope, not a sock knitter. and I wear between a 7 and an 8 US

23. When is your birthday?

October 6th

24. Are you on Ravelry? If so, what's your ID?

Username is Vxb222 but I still haven't put much into it.