Thursday, June 11, 2009

My life

Since I have no idea how long it'll be until this farce of a mess is straightened out, here's the soap opera of my life. It's complicated, and drawn out, and may involve some bad words. Plurkers already know almost all of this.


My inlaws have filed suit against J and I for custody of Scott, and are currently holding him against our wishes in MN.

Diana had been asking over and over if Scott could come visit, cause her husband, Carl, had just had surgery and they thought Scott would cheer him up. I finally agreed to letting him visit for a period of about 3 weeks. The deal was that he was to be brought back the week before his birthday (June 9) and we'd have a little celebration with them here. I called on Friday May 29th to talk to Scott and see what the therapy schedule was for Carl, to find out when they would be bringing him home. She told me that it wouldn't be happening and they had filed suit that day.

They took Scott up on Monday May 11th, though the original plan was for the 13th. But she called and asked if they could get him the 12th so they could have a day to rest before Carl's therapy on Thursday, and I said yes. Than I got a call around 7:30 at night on Monday asking if they could get him that night, and they would just head on back to MN, since there was a hotel on the Il/WI border that had recliners. Carl had shoulder surgery, and has to sleep sitting up for now. Again, I said yes, and was told they would be there around 9:30-10pm. They didn't get here until 11pm.

Diana is claiming that my house is unsafe, and filthy. She actually sic'd CPS on us. CPS states the house is fine, and I state that Diana is a cleaning nazi. She is saying the house was "strewn with pizza boxes". 2 boxes is not strewn, since it's what we had for dinner that night. She has told J that when she left here she had no intention of bringing Scott back to me. She took him to the Dr on May 19th and informed the Dr that she was gonna file for custody.

I can't get the cops in Todd County where they live to do crap yet. And all the cops are claiming that it can't be considered kidnapping because I let them take him. But if you borrow something and claim you'll bring it back at a certain date/time, with no intent to return it, that can and is usually considered theft. So why not this as kidnapping.

As it is, she and Carl are violating a standing custody order, because they are violating visitation for both J and I. For Scott's birthday he's to be with BOTH of us. For Father's day (this weekend) he's to be with J. And I get him with me 2 weeks every other month, and come June 22nd she'll have violated that as well.

Some highlights from the petition

Upon information and belief, Respondents (J and I) are not capable of caring for the minor child, do not have a very close relationship with the minor child, and have not spent significant time with him. Upon information and belief, Respondents are not capable of providing a stable, healthy environment for the minor child.

Anyone who'd read this blog knows how I feel for Scott. Anf if not, than go read postings tagged with his name. They are claiming that they have spent more than 180 days with him (true). Ok, that's 1/2 a year, out of 3. I can claim 2 full years with no problem. I would do anything and everything for my little man. I have the phone records to prove that even once I was in MI and he was still in MN or in CA I was calling him almost nightly. Some of those calls were over an hour long. I could call and tell him stories. Sing him songs. Sometimes I'd wind up singing him to sleep. When I was in MN with him, we'd play, I'd read to him. He's started pretending while he was here and we'd play "Kitchen". He liked to pretend he was a doggie named Pepper (their dog's name) and I was ok with that. I even let him eat popcorn like a doggie 2 times, out of a bowl, on a towel on the floor. I didn't let him watch too much TV. We've been coloring here, and playing Candyland, and I'm starting to teach him his ABC's. Every morning he would come and give me a hug to wake me up, and sometimes crawl into bed with me to cuddle. He had actually memorized 2 of the books we would read at night, the ones he liked the best, and would "read" them to me. I say he did it to keep me in there once it was bedtime. And I was fine with it. He wanted to campout in Kitty's tent, and so we made up a nest for him. Blankets and padding almost 4 inches thick, and a few stuffed animals in the tent with him. She hates that. It's not like the tent was outside, it's in the playroom. I think he liked it so much, not just for the camping feel, but because it did give him a little space to call his own area. Kitty wouldn't go in there without his permission, even though it was her tent. He loves his cousin Kitty.

We cut his hair, not because she wanted it done, but because he asked. So we got it trimmed short, and J asked if he'd like his Mohawk once it grows a little. Scott said yeah. But can Diana be happy it's been cut? Nope, now she's claiming that we got him a "Wizards Peak". WTF is that? Maybe she means a Widows Peak, which he has as his naturally occurring hairline. I wouldn't put it past her to say I sat there and tweezed it into that shape.

This is one big farce, and I want my baby back with me. I'm sick of the lies that this woman is telling about me, and I'm refraining from playing her own game.

Monday, June 08, 2009


Soon you'll be home little man, than I can tell what's been going on. Mommy loves you!

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I can't think

So much is going on in my life right now that I need to talk about, but it will have to wait until it's resolved, one way or another. Leave a comment if you *must* know right now. Until then, a literary meme.

What’s your bookstore? Barnes cause it's what's here, or used. I love used book stores. Just the general smell they have, of old books.

Hardback or paperback? Paperback. Easier to hold and cheaper.

Bookmark or dogear? both? Though I usually use a receipt or piece of clean TP

Keep, throw away or sell? Keep. I love my books. Sometimes, I’ll donate it. Or trade to a used bookstore for new ones. I have a very good memory for things in print, and it can take 4+ years before I can read something again.

Read with dust jacket or remove it? Remove

Short story or novel? Both. I tend to buy more novels, but I love short stories too

Stop reading when tired or at chapter breaks? Usually at chapter breaks, but that’s not always possible.

Buy or borrow? Yes. I do both. From friends, and from the library. They have a good mystery section, and I've gotten hooked

Buying choice: book reviews, recommendation or browse? Browsing and recommendation

Tidy ending or cliffhanger? Hmm… I’d say mostly tidy. A little bit of doubt can be good, but not when it makes the reader go: Bwuh?

Morning reading, afternoon reading or nighttime reading? Yes. All of above. Also add reading in the loo, and those rare baths too.

Standalone or series? both. Though it takes a very good author to write long series where you don't run into the Sequel Syndrome. That's where they just drag on and on from having to repeat things again and again. I've gotten lost in some sets that started out amazing, and now I can't tolerate them.

New or used? New.

Last five books you read:
1. The Big Over Easy - Jasper Fford
2. The Face- Dean Kontz
3. Knitting Without Tears - Elizabeth Zimmermann
4. The Veiled Web - Cathrine Asaro
5. Change of Heart -Jodi Picolt

Next five books you want to read.
Don't have a list

The first novel you remember reading. Something from Sweet Valley Twins - the one where they have tonsils removed

A book that changed your life IDK…

A book that made you cry (really cry, not just a shed tear) A lot

A book that made you brood for days There's a few

A book that made you laugh What I Learned From Knitting (whether I wanted to or not) - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.

A book you have signed by the author A have 5 Jodi Picolts (she was signing when I worked at Borders) and I have a few more

A book where you have drowned in the language There's a few, brain not recalling them

A book you have lost Not remembering names, but there's been a few

A book given to you by your father He'd have had to be around for that wouldn't he?

A book given to you by your mother Most of the ones I have. I didn't get allowence, she bought me books :)

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bored, and can't sleep

One word answers

1.Where is your cell phone? lap.
2. Your significant other? none

3. Your hair? ponytail.
4. Your mother? sleeping.
5. Your father? gone.
6. Your favorite thing? Yarn.
7. Your dream last night? pornshop. (please dear gods, don't ask)
8. Your favorite drink? iced tea.
9. Your dream/goal? Scott.

10. The room you’re in? Bed.
11. Your fear? spiders.
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? home.
13. Where were you last night? Home.
14. What you’re not? Tall.
15. Muffins? Blueberry.
16. One of your wish list items? Kindle.
17. Where you grew up? California.
18. The last thing you did? knit.
19. What are you wearing? jammies.
20. Your TV? small
21. Your pet? swimming.
22. Your computer? ebil
23. Your life? odd.
24. Your mood? owwie.
25. Missing someone? YES.
26. Your car? feet.
27. Something you’re not wearing? bra.
28. Favorite store? yarn.
29. Summer? pass.
30. Favorite color? reds.
31. Why did you laugh last? Scott.
32. Why did you cry last? miss scott.
33. Who will repost this? not a clue.
34. A place I go over and over: Library.
35. Someone who emails me: phatties.
36. Place I would rather be right now: CA.

Monday, May 25, 2009

I haven't died, honest

I've just been quietly sitting here and playing with Scott is all. Yes, playing with my little lad since St. Pat's day back in March. 7 weeks and 5 days of wonderful wonderful fun time. He's visiting his other grandparents up in MN for a few weeks, since his Papa Carl is having to undergo 2 operations to fix a disc in his neck. Scott will be here for his birthday, and pretty much until further notice. J and I worked out a 50/50 custody split, but the reason Scott's here is because J still doesn't have a job, or a place to stay. He's crashing at HIS grandparents place in CA, and that's gonna have to end soon. Then he'll most likely be out here in MI too.

In the craft world, I've been spinning. LOTS. Right now it's a blend of Ashland Bay's Merino top in a beautiful green color with stripes of browns and such, all carded together (cause I'm odd like that) with about an ounce of Pomeranian fur for my great-gran's dog Teddy. I plan on knitting something out of the yarn for her.

I'm also working on samples for the Phat Fiber Box again, for the month of July. July is the non wool month, so I'm doing a blend of natural colored cottons, mohair, angora, and soy silk. All in natural colors. The longer fibers spin up so nicely, and the cotton gives it an almost wooly feel, by core-spinning around the other fibers. Those as well as samples of my Isis yarn in an organic naturally brown cotton will be there in July.

Also for Jessie at Phat Fiber I'm working on shawl kits for her to have in her shop. A custom design by me, paired with the Twilight Dawn colorway of Isis. Approx 1200 yards of yarn are there, more than enough for the shawl.

I'm knitting socks again. I never did get past the first little armor one I made for Scott. But the main hostess for the Secret Pal swaps was a sweetheart and got me an angel package for SP12 (since my partner vanished off the face of the Earth) and sent me some amazing things. 4 oz of alpaca roving in a colorway called Crocus Crochet. Blues and purples. Reminds me a lot of my Twilight Dawn colors, and I LOVE it! Also, a skein of Mmmmmmmalabrigo Sock in Botticelli Red, which is this brick/tomato red kettle dyed color. I have been petting it like made lately. And some Addi's to knit socks on (right now they have mitts on them, couldn't get gauge with them for socks) and a nifty little keyring that had a small crochet hook on it, to help pick up stitches. That's come in handy already, trust me. There's also a beautiful pattern for bamboo patterned socks, that I may convert to toe up. I have odd feet (really high arches) so I like toe up construction.

My first socks WILL be done for whenever Harry Potter 6 comes to the big screen. I'm calling them my Griffenclaw socks. They couldn't sort me into just one house at work, when book 6 came out, but instead said I should be in both Griffendor and Ravenclaw. So I will be having socks with gray toes, heels, and cuffs (Knitpicks Bare I dyed myself) and a semisolid red body from a yarn I totally forgot what it is. I remember it was $18 a skein though, does that count?

Off to rest and make more samples. I've been having a fibro flare lately, which is why I haven't posted in a while. That and adjusting to a new psych med. Which causes cluster headaches whenever they up the dosage. I foresee a new medication soon. I don't like going to the ER to get an injection to make it stop.

Friday, March 13, 2009

What's up with me?

Hey y'all. Head on over to the Etsy shop and see some of the new yarns I just posted. Yes, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, just been working my wheel into the ground with spinning up Isis yarns for sale.

Teen Dragon


Graffiti Artist

On the Scotty front, I go to get him in MN on the 16th, We'll be together on St Pat's day for 2 months (maybe more). Why is he in MN you may ask? Because he's visiting his other grandparents.

What else have I been doing? Well, I've been writing up a pattern I've been crocheting for years, and getting ready to self publish it. Yes, I'm that nuts. You'll be able to find the pattern on Etsy soon enough.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

My Secret Pal

Hi Secret Pal, or as known in the real world Amy. For those not Amy go check out her blog and see just how cute her daughter is. Go, I'll wait here.)

I have to share pictures of my last package from Amy, something that has me oooooing and ahhhhhhing.
Ok, This made me laugh, because I do the same thing. With the tape that is. Lots of tape is better than too little.

Where Amy reveals herself to me, so to speak.

I have yet to see this book in our local Barnes and Noble. It leads me to 2 possiable conclusions. The first one is that our B&N sucks various critter parts (true, their craft area is sad) and the second is I'm not spending enough time there (also true, though they are the ONLY real bookstore in town.) But I did find an awesome used bookstore I need to spend more time in.

My Artsy fartsy shot of the cover, all closeup. I have to admit, I LOVE the macro feature on my camera.

Amy, the book is awesome. I love the yarns they have featured, and the colors are so beautiful. I can see this book being not just a spinning inspiration to me, but a dyeing one as well. I think that Madelyn is an adorable little girl, and she couldn't be blessed with a better mum than you are. Reading your blog shows how much you care for her. I love the picture you have up of her and the ribbon tag monster. That's something my little guy would do. Though with him it's his Kitty (or really his DAD's snow leopard. Just don't tell Scott that it wasn't for him).

On the Scotty front, St Pat's day can't come soon enough. I get to head BACK to MN (he's visiting his grandma right now) and pick him up on March 17th for a whopping 7 weeks and 5 days. Assuming that J has a place in CA by then, because otherwise he's not leaving this house. Cuff me and take me away, my son is NOT living on the streets. I can't wait to see my darling laddie. I'm painting him a castle to sleep in. Last time he was here we set up Kitty's playhouse as a private area for just Scott, and he loved it. Sadly the house was getting on in years, and had structural issues. It collapsed a few weeks after Scott left. So I asked if he'd rather a house or a castle, and castle it was. I know he'll love sleeping in his own castle.

Other than that I've been working my tail off spinning up more cotton yarns. I'm collarabiting with Jessie from Phat Fiber on a shawl kit so I have to spin/dye the yarn for that, and the masses of yarn I have here for the store. Business is going pretty well. I've even done the books, to keep track of profits and such. Oh, and I'm getting a wage, can you believe it? I still think taking 25% of the gross is too much, but I've been told that's a decent amount. And since I kinda gave in and got some scents from Happy Housewife and then a pendent followed me home on Etsy I kinda need it. Mostly I'm investing in more yarns and dyes. Jo'anns was having a sale on the t-shirt tye dyes and I stocked up. Then I found some for really cheap at another place, and snapped them up too.

Another things I'm going to do in my (huge laugh here) spare time is recycle yarn from high end sweaters. Not sell it as is, but spin it up into new yarn. So instead of a plain cobweb weight cashmere yarn, ply it up on itself as a lace weight. I've been thinking about trying beaded yarns as well, and the sweaters sound like the would work great for that. Really I'm doing it because people keep giving me nice sweaters that are too big for me, and too small for mom. Instead of get rid of them I thought it's a cheap source of good yarn. Silk fingering weight, silk/cashmere lace, cashmere lace, silk and cotton fingering.

Friday, February 13, 2009

In Tribute - Ya might need a kleenex

There are few people I would even consider claiming as an major influence on my life. The 2 biggest, I'm sad to say, have passed into what I hope is a far better place than here. The first for me to talk about was my sophomore year World History Teacher. I can't put into words just how special of a person he was, so in tribute to him I have posted the article the LA times wrote for his memorial service. A service attended not only but current students, but also former ones. Students from his 31 years of teaching. We couldn't all fit on the bleachers, and we almost couldn't fit in the gym where the service was held.

I don't remember learning in his class, yet I know I did. We played games, and watched random movies. He'd steal my gummys and try to pick out all the white ones when I wasn't looking. No matter what it was you had to talk about, he was there to listen. A greater teacher I've yet to meet.

Mr H, if they have the intwewebs where you are, I promise to share my gummy bears next time we meet. I'll even give you some of the white ones.


He Was More Than a Teacher’

One after another, teachers and students alike, they trooped up to a podium with crumpled tissues in hand to offer their tributes: gifts of words and music, little gestures meant to somehow repay Carl Hoist for all he had given.

He was a genuine hero,” said Principal Gary Ernst.

He was like another father to me,” said Michael Spandorf, 17.

He gave us a reason to go to school,” said Jessica Teter, 18.

Amanda Uribe played a ragtime tune on the piano and asked the audience to think “happy thoughts.”

It was a memorial service–a gathering in the gymnasium of Fountain Valley High School where more than 700 mourned Hoist, a history and government teacher who died at the shockingly early age of 53 of a heart attack.

We were all crushed when we found out Carl died,” said Assistant Principal Diana Carey. “We wanted to know why something like this would happen to a 53-year-old who was a picture of health.”

It’s amazing, the love for this man,” said faculty member Eva White.

Described as “tan and robust,” Hoist died Feb. 13 in his Huntington Beach home. A former karate teacher and avid body surfer, Hoist was known to take his students to the beach to supervise them until they learned to catch a wave.

In a private ceremony with family members last month, Hoist was cremated and his ashes were scattered in the surf near his home, where he had hoped to retire, surf, roam the shoreline and chat with the locals.

Students of all stripes–band members, cheerleaders, theater rats and rebels–voiced respect and a feeling of connection with Hoist, who always had an open door and an encouraging smile.

I would like to be like Carl and have the kind of influence with kids that he did,” said Principal Ernst.

When senior Michelle Vance got her acceptance letter from Loyola Marymount College the week after Hoist died, she considered it another gift from her favorite teacher, who had written her a letter of recommendation and helped her with her personal essay.

He was more than a teacher; he was my friend,” said Vance, who sobbed through the service, pulling tissues out of a box. “He always made a point to make you feel important.”

Hand-lettered signs in Hoist’s honor covered the red-brick walls of the school’s courtyard. “Hey Dude: How are the waves in heaven?” read one sign in colored markers on butcher paper. A yellow sign had Hoist’s trademark exclamation: “Oh my gracious!” and was covered with Skittles wrappers, the favorite candy of a man who was allergic to chocolate.

Many at the service wore blue, Hoist’s favorite color, or Hawaiian shirts, his favorite fashion statement. Students took turns signing Hoist’s classroom podium–plastered with surfing stickers–for presentation to his family.

The messages were plaintive: “We love and miss you, Mr. Hoist.”

Marsha Hoist, his wife of more than 22 years, attended the ceremony with their son, John, and daughter, Lisa Daniels.

It’s nice to see that he was so loved,” said Marsha Hoist, who stopped to hug and kiss students who approached her with cards and notes. He cared so much about these kids.”

A lifelong resident of Huntington Beach, Hoist graduated from Huntington Beach High School in 1963 and then earned a bachelor’s degree from Cal State Long Beach and a master’s degree in educational media. He had taught at Fountain Valley High School for 31 years.

Faculty members described a humorous, quiet leader who had an enviable ease with his students, going out of his way to listen, advise and help them in a pinch.

Like Brian Shaughn, who was a senior at Fountain Valley High School when his parents moved out of the district. Every school day for six months, Hoist went out of his way to give Shaughn a ride to school, allowing him to graduate with his class.

Now 34 and a manager at Federal Express, Shaughn drove from Pasadena to be able to talk about Hoist’s influence on his life. He cried through his talk, once stopping to brace himself on the podium and catch his breath.

During the service, audience members wiped wet eyes on their sleeves or the backs of their hands, and clutched the blue program with photos of Hoist and quotes from students: “If you have time, do you mind being my guardian angel?” and “Thanks for the memories, Mr. Hoist. Enjoy the surf up there!”

The school has set up the Carl Hoist Memorial Scholarship Fund, and donations can be sent to the school’s financial office.

We have to do something to heal and move on,” said Principal Ernst. We have to try to bring closure to this.”

Still, it’s a heavy loss for many students, including Spandorf.

The deepest thing in everybody’s life was Mr. Hoist,” he said. “The school won’t ever be the same.”

Thursday, February 12, 2009


WOW. I can just say wow for now. Jessie of Phat Fiber put up a blog about my samples yesterday. Since then I've had 6 sales. My store is down to 6 items. I'm gonna be working my tail off to finish plying up the box of Isis I have dyed. Not to mention skeining it. And skeinging the merino fingering weight I have dyed as well. We're talking a few THOUSAND yards here. Those wool balls are 440 yards each, and there is 10 of the buggers. *head desk* I am SO not going out this weekend. Not that I have anywhere to go anyway. For the first time in 7 years I'm single on V Day. Granted, I don't like the day. 10 years ago this year a dear friend and teacher passed on it. On a Saturday V Day too. So. I'm just gonna work and work and work and work.

Lest you think I am all work and no play. I spent a whopping $22 on myself with some of this cash, and got 12 sample scents from Happy Housewife. If you go there to look, I am SO not responsible for any money you may spend. Seriously. I started out having to find 6 scents I liked. That ended up being 16 I wanted to try. I went back, to re-read the descriptions and then I had 23 to pick from. Thankfully the new must have list was 12, so I called it fate, and will try these before I commit to a bottle. I have problems with most scents, and the cupcakes they offer are perfect for me to give them a go.

Just cause you know you want to find out what I got they are (in no real order). Yuan Fen, Farm Girls, Embroidered Linens, The Wind, Brain Bleach, Day of the Dead, Dirty Jack, OMFG Zomb1ez!, Fractal Dance, The Last Rain, and then hopefully Boho- Wake and Boho- Gypsy. If not those 2 then Ivory Merchant and Cultivated Pearls.

I know, you have no idea what scents those would be from the names. So go and drool, a 6 pack of samples is onlt 11$ and there's free shipping for them.

Back to work. :D

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Phat Fiber Box

Samples are in for the Phat Fiber Box. I sent in for Feb and March, some beautiful things. I'll post teasing pictures up here all week, as the boxed are due to go on sale in one week, Feb 16th. They sell out fast folks. Jessie writes such wonderful posts about everyone. I squeed when I saw my graphics posted up on the site. You can also sign up to be notified of when she plans to post the boxes this month. Or you can just stalk her Etsy store. There's collaborations from artists featured in the boxes to look through for now.

Also, head on over to Sheeps of Egyptian Cotton to read a little about our 2 signature yarns. Or head on over to the Esty storefront for SEC and take a gander at what yarns I have already posted.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I can haz Cashmere??????

I'm either not crazy enough to be admitted into the hospital, or I'm too crazy. I'm not quite sure which it is, and not sure I want to know either. But i now have a therapist, and they'll refer me to a psychiatrist and hopefully all will be well soon.

Now, to the good stuff.

You can go here and see info on it. Beautiful white CASHMERE and silk yarn. *swoon* I've had my cashmere cherry popped. Yes, that's right. I've never owned any cashmere yarn before. You really don't want to know some of the things this ball has already been subjected to. I've pet it, stroked it, cuddled it, and than I molested it by sticking my finger inside. Yes, I'm a yarn pervert. Wanna make something of it?? I have no idea what to make with this, which means I'll be haunting Rav for hours tonight. Something for around my neck is as far as I've gotten.

I didn't just get yarn mind you. My secret pal also printed up some lace shawl patterns for me, and sent a row counter, and a needle sizer/gauge guide. But the yarn, oh, it's yarny goodness will comfort me in this frozen wasteland we call MI.

There's just one mystery left, who is my Secret partner?? The mind boggles.

Monday, January 26, 2009

This is **NOT** a craft post, fyi.

3 months, 1 week, and 2 days. That's how long it's been since I've seen Scott. Since I've gotten a few pictures, and 2 small 30 second video clips. We talk on the phone, yes, but lately it's been a fight to just get him to say hi. And now the newest bombshell. The friend J's been staying with gave them 2 weeks to find another place to stay. She's screwing with the well-being of my kid, and I can't do a thing to stop it, to make it better. Just the thought of Scott and J not having a place to go scares the shit out of me. Last resort if his sister, up by Vandenburg AFB.

My poor little guy has been through so much crap this past year, and now this. He's got to leave his friend (her son), his pre-school, and "his" doggie. He doesn't need to uprooted again from where he was making his home. He's already had that change time and time again. Mommy is gone, Daddy and Scott move and make new friends. Now Scott has to leave those friends behind.

I can't stop worrying about what will happen. I can't sleep, I can't seem to shake this depression that's settled over me. I can't go see a therapist because of teh insurence issue, and I don't want to go check myself back into a hospital. I don't think being back in that environment would help me right now. Yes, I was in a psych ward for a few days back in May. It was boring, the food sucked, and we couldn't eat out of our rooms because of the flu going around the ward. Lemme tell you, eating all alone is not conducive to becoming mentaly healthy. It's not. Eating is a social habit. For those who don't know I'm bi-polar. I would fathom a guess at Bi-polar type 2, which is a more mild versoin. I don't go manic often, and when I do it's for short times. But I get depressed. When I do it sometimes sticks around. I'm just scared that if I go into a hospital now it'll fuck up my chances of having Scott in March. But I want to be healthy for him, and make sure I'm ok for him. I should want to do it for me, but he's more important to me than myself.

I'm supposed to go out to CA in mid March, pick him up, and fly back here with my heart and soul. For 7 weeks and change. I didn't realize that the day I'm supposed to go and being him home is 5 months to the day since I'll have last seen him, help him, kisssed him in person, rather than on the phone. My mom gets to have the joy of having her grandson here for her birthday, my great grandma gets the same honor. I get to spend Mothers day with the whole reason I'm a mom. Then I have to fly back with him, and leave him in CA. Just 51 weeks to the day after I went a little crazy, forgot him, and pretty much ended my marriage.

I don't care. I need help. I'll keep y'all updated when I can.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Back to the land of the living.

I know, I haven't posted for a little while. But I really do have a good reason. As I mentioned, I was sicker than sick, and about the time I could get out of bed to get back online, I started having jaw problems. I have TMJ (to go with everything else) so figured that's what it was. Spent a few days in bed with heating packs on the joint. Well, not I'm stuck on antibiotics due to an abscess. I'm not sure what's going to happen with it. That's the problem with no insurance, I can't just go into the DR to have it drained. Hopefully the antibiotics will do some good, and soon, or I have to head back to the ER to have it done there. *le sigh* I hate medical crud.

On a good medical note, all those medical bills I had from the concussions and whatnot, from April to late September, are gone. FINALLY!!! Seems the state got off it's fat duff and decided I met the requirments to get coverage. Which is nice, since we're talking over 30 thousand dollars of bills here. CT scans, 5 day visits to the hospital, nueroligical workups, all those aren't cheap. That is a load off my mind.

Scott is doing well out in CA. We talk on the phone almost every night, except for those nights "I don wanna talk to mommy." Everytime I hear it my heart breaks a little. I know he loves me, but I'm doing the best I can to show him I care. I can't be there for him like I want. He is just getting over some sort of viral infection himself, and I can't be there to care for him. He's in pre-school now, and loves it. Or so I'm told.

I'm knitting on a baby blanket for a good and close friend of mine. We've been friends since we were in 6th grade, or 13 years. He and his wife are expecting their first, and I wanted to make some special things for them. Right now the blanket is still small, and I'm making up the pattern as I go. But it's pretty. I'm using a cotton yarn from Hobby Lobby and OMG, it's so dang soft. I *heart* this yarn. Oh yeah, blanket is a dark chocolate brown, and will have pink satin blanket binding. Neither of them really like pink, so it's just a small touch.

It seems my downstream secret pal partner is a smart woman, she found out who I am by doing a rav search using my email. I'm the ditz who forgot that I can be searched for by that. Gotta remember that for the next rounf.

In the Audit news, J's company sent out a letter stating that it was all a big screw up on their part, so we're hoping that the IRS will actually pay attention to it, and call off the audit. Which would be nice. *crosses fingers*

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Stand back

and don your protective face gear. I'm plague ridden. Otherwise I could have written about me trip before this. Ok, I'm still not writing about it, this is a quick little thing to let y'all know I'm alive. Of course I fee like a zombie, and some friends are hoping I turn over to the dead side soon. For scientific reasons of course, so they say. I'm actually mending, it's just an upper respiratory infection. Been given a bill of health against Mono, Influenza, and Strep. Seems when I get really sick I now have the joy of either fighting off whatever infection it is, or dealing with the Fibro. Fibro lost. I've spent the last 3 days in bed watching movies, first on my portable player, than when that dies and I threatened to watch them in the living room on my old TV that was downstairs. It's wonderful when your family doesn't want to get sick, no?

Ok, quick vaca info. We went to TX (cause we would make it by NYE and the ocean, I was promised ocean). More so Galvenston. Had fun. More to follow later.